Courtesy of NBC
Revolution fades away into the sunset with its final new episode until March 2013 (because NBC is apparently still being run by monkeys). So is the fall finale worth the extended wait?
Let’s bitch it out…Ha ha – like you even had to ask! Of course not! Let’s break down the pros and cons for the final time in 2012:
+ (Pros)
- The first half: What’s so frustrating is that the first half of the episode works well. Our crew sneak into Philly…and immediately get caught (just like they would). Neville (Giancarlo Esposito) lays a trap…and Miles (Billy Burke) is too smart to fall for it. It’s an example of the show moving things along expediently and in a (mostly) logical way
- Rachel (Elizabeth Mitchell): Aside from spouting a few cheesy lines of dialogue and falling into the “I’ll do anything for my family” BS trap, Rachel remains the awesome character that Daniella Alonso wishes she was playing.
- Julia (Kim Raver): Ditto Neville’s wife, who’s a ballsy self-described b*tch who refuses to play victim when Miles kidnaps her. Let’s promote her to series regular asap, shall we?
– (Cons)
- Charlie (Tracy Spiridakos) and Danny (Graham Rogers): These two remain black holes, absolutely devoid of talent and devoid of any useful function besides dragging the show down. It’s clear the writers are trying to toughen up Charlie, but her “golly gee” goofy looks and wide-eyed enthusiasm are so Disneyfied, she still high on vom-o-meter. The fact that Danny does nothing but hobble around the entire hour essentially sums up his contribution in these first ten episodes: dead weight
- The flashbacks: Early on they were insightful and interesting. More than a few people wished the show was centered around the time immediately following the black-out. Not anymore! In the most recent batch of episodes the flashbacks have become so redundant and/or boringly expository that everytime they arrive, groans inevitably follow. Tonight is no different as we’re meant to gather insight into the bro-tastic relationship between Miles and Monroe (David Lyons) from the time they chased each other with sticks as boys. Oh gag. Which brings us to:
- Monroe/Miles fight scene: Pimped for weeks as the big climax we’ve been waiting for, we are treated to a few reasonable stunts, some amateurish shadow sword fighting (not a euphemism) and a whole lot of homoerotic banter about reconnecting (potentially a euphemism). Seriously: turn off the visuals and listen to the audio as the men confess how much “better things were when you were here” and you’ve got a new joint-venture between Lifetime and Logo. I’m down with Monroe being “in” to Miles, but unless the show is ready to throw down with the alternative lifestyle angle, let’s keep the “talking like lovah” moments to a minimum
- Strausser’s (David Meunier) death: Love Rachel, but not loving this death. In many ways Strausser has been the anti-Governor (from The Walking Dead): he’s the guy that everyone fears because he’s functionally crazy. He’ll hurt you, hunt you, threaten to kill your family and call your daughter a peach (yikes on that last one). So how does he go out? A sucker punch with a hammer and an impaling via machete. It’s done in two seconds and it’s pretty pathetic. This guy deserved better
- Aaron’s (Zak Orth) “Google” background: In the last ten episodes, the idea that without the lights on, Aaron is a useless, pock-marked fat ass has been pounded into our heads over and over again. We freakin’ get it! So why do we need gloating and taunting from Neville? Oh right, so we can cheer when the fat guy – who’s been left behind again – is able to use his ingenuity to light a pipe bomb (?!) with flint after his matches run out (Side Note: that wall looks an awful lot like Styrofoam. Perhaps NBC can sink a bit more cashola into the sets considering this is the biggest new drama of the fall, no?)
Courtesy of NBC
Draw (Jury’s Still Out)
- Monroe as villain: It’s kind of fun watching Monroe play the small-penis game with all of his lieutenants (you know, where they talk about how they can kill Miles and he pouts and threatens and whines that he’s a big boy and can kill his old bestie himself?) The thing is, we all know Neville is a better villain for the show. It even seems like Revolution recognizes this and planned to kill off Monroe at the end of the episode, thereby opening the gate for Neville (and the forthcoming war with Georgia that is casually name-dropped earlier in the episode). It’s why it’s frustrating that instead of going for it, Revolution simply ends on a:
- Cliffhanger: We knew it was coming, and yet when the helicopter flies into the sky and everyone freezes in the wide open field like deer, all I do is groan. Because – of course! – the show would think that this is an amazing cliffhanger to end on (for months and months). Guess what? It’s the exact same scenario as when Strausser threatened to shoot Charlie in the head earlier: nothing is going to happen. Revolution tried to show it was prepared to kill off its cast when they got rid of Maggie back in 1×04 ‘The Plague Dogs’ but they aren’t serious. No one will die when the series returns (except perhaps the audience from boredom and/or old age)
- Bringing back guest stars: Hey everyone – it’s Mark Pellegrino, last seen in 1×03 ‘No Quarter’. And he’s been brought back to…try to shoot Miles a whole bunch, but mostly just miss all of the time. Well at least he gets a paycheck because he gets to say a line. What. A. Waste.
Lazy Writing of the Week Award
- Script-writing for dummies: If you introduce a giant (ultra-fake looking) pendant power amplifier in act one, you need to have a helicopter fly in act three. Similarly, if Aaron is given bombs to detonate, then obviously he’ll run out matches. Ah Revolution: the show that never met a cliche or obvious plot development that it didn’t want to try to shoe-horn in
Best Lines:
- Monroe (to Miles, commenting on a ration of bullets): “We’ll be like pirates”. Nope, that would be Pirates Of The Caribbean
- Miles (sarcastically dismissing Charlie’s plea to be careful): “Come on, it’s me”
- Neville (patronizing Charlie after the militia finds their hiding spot): “It’s not exactly brain surgery” Heh heh – Esposito is still way too good for this show
- Charlie (after Rachel comments she’s grown up): “It’s been a long trip.” God yes…far too long
- Strausser (threatening Rachel): “I like your girl. She’s a peach. And I could eat peaches all day.” Dude, that’s just gross
So I guess the series remains a huge mess to me, but what do you think? Were you pleased with the finale? Have you begun to accept Charlie? Are you excited that Juliet Rachel has joined the crew? Did you miss Grace (Maria Howell), “Nate” (JD Pardo) or Ben’s (Tim Guinee) ghost? Wondering whether that conflict with Georgia might become a focal point for the show (*cough if they were smart, it would cough*). And how will you spend your Monday night’s without Revolution to entertain you until March? Hit the comments below
Revolution is on extended hiatus until March 2013