Revolution review – 1×09: ‘Kashmir’

Remember how last week I said that the show was turning a corner and improving? Nope, I was wrong!

Let’s bitch it out…As always, let’s break down the pros and cons

+ (Pros)

• Juliet Rachel’s (Elizabeth Mitchell) dirty tactics: Get discovered making a bomb? No problem! Kill the competition and live another day. And with a screwdriver no less! (Side Note: It’d be a lot more impressive if Breaking Bad hadn’t literally done this exact same idea back in S3. Oh well). RIP Dr. Jaffe (Colin O’Farrell), we hardly knew you (or cared to…)
• Charlie’s (Tracy Spiridakos) Injuries: It’s no double punch to the face and brand to the arm (which has since been forgotten), but Charlie did get shot. So…that’s something, right? I mean, sure, it totally looked like she got shot in the chest, but then after the ad break they say the bullet only grazed her, but still…she got shot
• Monroe’s (David Lyons) hair: Pretty. Curly. Overly flammable due to high concentrations of gel. It’s nice to look at

– (Cons)

• Redundant “Hallucinations”: Picture the writers room. Champagne flowing, hugs abound, balloons and pinatas overhead. All because the writers figured out that instead of redundant flashbacks, they can have…(wait for it)…redundant hallucinations. GENIUS! And they all reveal SO MUCH! Charlie misses her dad, Ben (Tim Guinee) and his vaguely asian-massage-parlour house. Google Aaron (Zak Orth) misses his Google wife, Priscilla (Maureen Sebastian) and Miles (Billy Burke) feels bad about how much he liked being in the militia. Gosh, these are revelatory. Oh wait…no, they’re not. WE ALREADY KNEW ALL OF THIS. But thanks for wasting our time, Revolution
• Unnecessary Product Tie-Ins: It’s hard not to consider ‘Kashmir’ gimmicky when its big selling feature is that the soundtrack is courtesy of Led Zeppelin, whose new album just happens to drop today. Synergy/sell-out alert!
• Red Shirts!: Remember how last week the show name-dropped the Coyote and then showed his body? Well this week we get three tag-along rebels (only one of whom gets a name – Syrian Ashley). And then they’re all summarily killed. WHY BOTHER??? Or at least acknowledge that you have no intention of doing anything interesting with these people and simply have them wear red shirts. Gawd…even T-Dog got a better send-off than this
• Title: I know that it’s a Led Zeppelin title, but the title sounds like toilet paper. “Nothing is softer than Kashmir“

Draw (Jury’s Still Out)

• Magical Pendants: The pendant supposedly has a lifespan of about 30-45 seconds (as seen in ‘The Children’s Crusade’), and yet Rachel is casually using it to listen to Led Zeppelin. Also, how does something go from barely lighting up a radio or computer (and only when in direct line of sight) to powering “tanks, jets, missiles”. Sorry, but I’m just not fully on board this magical pendant idea yet.
• Guest Stars: Reed Diamond (aka Dollhouse‘s Dominic) continues the trend of great guest actors used in boring, one-off roles. Good to see him, wish it had of been more interesting

Lazy Writing of the Week Award

• Turncoats: Last week we had Nora’s (Daniella Alonso) sister Mia as a turncoat who infiltrates the group. This week we get Sergeant Wheatley (Diamond), a rebel friend…who turns out to be a turncoat that infiltrates the group. Gosh, these episodes are back-to-back pinnacles of creativity

Best Lines

• Miles (to the rebel leaders outside Philly): “I know the women he bangs” That is super classy Miles!
• Aaron: “If we’re suffocating, I’m pretty sure that hallucinations are the last thing that happens before we die.” Wow, they sure are chipper and functional considering they’re supposed to nearly be dead

So that’s the second last episode of Revolution of the fall and what a disappointment it is. Next week is the eagerly awaited confrontation between our band of misfit toys and the Monroe goons. Think there’ll be any bloodshed? How peeved is Monroe going to be now that Rachel’s found a way to make herself indispensable? And where has terrible Danny (Graham Rogers) gone? I’m concerned he’s gotta his pretty blonde locks into some kind of trouble, perhaps while he was out picking raspberries or chasing dogs’ tails, or trying to escape…poorly. What are your thoughts?

Revolution airs Mondays at 10pm EST on NBC