Queer.Horror.Movies

The curated portfolio of film journalist Joe Lipsett

American Horror Story: Asylum review – 2×02: ‘Tricks And Treats’

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Another week of madness in the nuthouse as American Horror Story: Asylum serves up an exorcism, just in time for Halloween.

Let’s bitch it out… [Read more…]

Nashville review – 1×03 : “Someday You’ll Call My Name”

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Courtesy of ABC

Financial problems, mommy issues and a LOT of sexual tension round out this week’s episode of Nashville. They address a few questions that were left out last week, and just build up more conflict as we go. I find myself frustrated through much of this episode, but mostly just because I want to punch Deacon (Charles Eston) for his betrayal again this week.  Let’s bitch it out…

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Modern Family review – 4×05: ‘Open House of Horrors’

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Courtesy of ABC

It’s the fifth episode of the season and Hallowe’en is upon us. Themed episodes can be a little tricky (or, in this case, trick-or-treaty) to pull off but, of course, Modern Family does All Hallows Eve with style and even manages to sneak up behind us with a more serious story disguised as a princess. [Read more…]

Arrow review – 1×03: ‘Lone Gunman’

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Courtesy of The CW

Week three of Arrow – which has officially been picked up for the season (huzzah!) – introduces a master assassin named Deadshot, aka Floyd Lawton (Michael Rowe). Does the suitably named killer hit the mark?

Let’s bitch it out… [Read more…]

Happy Endings review – 3×01: ‘Cazsh Dummy Spillionairs’

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Well here we are. Season three of our beloved Happy Endings is back. Season two had great highs and a few lows, but would season three hook us back in? Spoiler alert….it totally does! Let’s bitch!

The last time we checked in with our gang, Penny (Casey Wilson) Skype flirted with Kent (Brian Austin Green), Alex (Elisha Cuthbert) and Dave (Zachary Knighton) started sleeping together and Brad (Damon Wayans Jr.) lost his job. Well the first episode opens with Kent proposing to Penny…to base jump off a skyscraper. Penny instead takes the stairs, and then trips and falls down severely “scathing” herself. Luckily for her friends and us, she had a camera on her helmet and recorded her fall from grace…get it? Cause she’s not graceful…I’ll let that one sit with you for a bit.

This kicks-off Max (Adam Pally) and Penny’s storyline. Two of my favorite characters, in my least favorite storyline of the episode. Not that it’s bad…it just feels forced. While watching I could see how there was a great idea behind it but it just falls apart in the execution. I love the idea of Max Miserying Penny, but at times it falls flat. After so many Misery spoofs you need to bring something new to it; it needs to feel fresh. Wilson and Pally obviously deliver with what little they are given and I always enjoy seeing Max flirt with a hot physical therapist, Kent (Matthew Del Negro).  Max seriously needs to find a boyfriend in season three. Maybe bring Grant (James Wolk) back? Just putting that out there…

Meanwhile Alex and Dave announce to the group that they are now casually dating. This coincides with Dave’s new casual haircut. And by casual I mean he looks like Justin Bieber’s father. While I know there are many Dave and Penny fans out there, I actually like Alex and Dave together because I think they’re a totally cute couple. It’s fun to see the two of them try to keep it casual while trying to deny the fact that it is pretty serious. Side note: I am loving the tough girl schtick that Alex dips into every so often. Every time Alex gets tough it just makes me smile. (Bring back bully Alex!!!)

Courtesy of ABC

And then there’s Brad and Jane (Eliza Coupe). The MVPs of last season show no signs of letting up. ‘Cazsh Dummy Spillionairs’ finds Brad adjusting to losing his job by faking being a stay at home husband while sneaking out to a new job. This is by far the best storyline of the night, and it features a new character I hope will be recurring throughout the season: Sinbrad. Clearly the wooden doll combines two of my favorite things: ventriloquism and a 90s sensibility. Coupe and Wayans Jr. nail their bits (of course). I especially love the revealing bathtub scene. That Coupe is one ballsy actress…wait, what? But most of all, what hit it out of the park for me is the big finale. Brad and Sinbrad’s duet of Ebony…and Ebony: brilliant.

Other observations:

  • The Barbra Streisand reference. Genius! I loves me some Babs. Like buttah!
  • No other observations, I just wanted to point out the Streisand reference. That’s how deep my love is for this woman

Best lines of the episode:

  • Penny (as the group laughs hysterically at her fall): “Hey guys, not cool. I died for two minutes in the ambulance.”
  • Jane (to Alex and Dave): “Well I’m out. You two have fun talking like two of Scott Caan’s groomsmen.”
  • Max (to the physical therapist): “Two things you should know about me, Kent. I’m selfless, and I’ve got moves like Jagger. Specifically the ones he allegedly used on David Bowie in the 70s.”
  • Sinbrad (talking about Alex who seems to be confused about her casual feelings over Dave): “That girl is so whack, her first name should be Nick Nack Patti. OHHHHHHHHHHH Snap!!!”
  • Penny (calling to the physical therapist): “Kent…help me…Kent! Max is Miserying me. He’s like Kathy Bates, only way fatter.”
  • Sinbrad (to Jane): “Yo mama so fat, she died.”

What did you think of the S3 premiere? Did you like Sinbrad? Are you happy Alex and Dave are still together? Think we should have seen more of the hot physical therapist? Let us know in the comments below

Happy Endings airs Tuesdays at 9pm EST on ABC

Revenge review – 2×04: ‘Intuition’

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Courtesy of ABC

A week after Queen Victoria (Madeleine Stowe) welcomed Fauxmanda (Margarita Levieva) into the Grayson fold, the Grayson matriarch is already removing the baby mama from the picture. It just goes to show that when you have a baby shower, you best keep the event on the ground floor.

Let’s bitch it out… [Read more…]

The Walking Dead review – 3×02: ‘Sick’

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– Courtesy of AMC

Five new survivors are introduced this week on The Walking Dead, but how do these prisoners change the dynamic of the Grimes gang just as they’re just settling into their new prison home?

Let’s bitch it out. [Read more…]

Once Upon A Time review – 2×04: ‘The Crocodile’

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Courtesy of ABC

Once Upon a Time continues to settle into its new format as it continues to toggle between ever more characters, worlds and time periods. Thankfully they’ve shortlisted the people in this particular episode, which means a week without Emma (Jennifer Morrison!)

Let’s bitch it out… [Read more…]