Dexter review – 8×12: ‘Remember The Monsters?’

After a mostly disappointing final season filled with missed opportunities and stalled developments, it’s time to bid farewell to Dexter (Michael C. Hall), his dark passenger and his messed up relationships with women. So does the series go out with a bang or a groan?

Let’s bitch it out…

Holy mother of eff was that ever a terrible series finale!

Around mid-way through (when I foolishly thought it was almost over because I was in so much agony), I thought that I would be able to focus on the positives and not be a complete debbie downer. I was willing to overlook the inconsistencies and outright idiocy of the plotting, even though my running list became exceeding long (Favourites include Yvonne Strahovski’s Hannah walking all over Miami with armed guards everywhere; the way the nurses gawk at the vet kid as he pukes blood on the floor instead of, you know, helping him; both Dexter and Desmond Harrington’s Quinn being allowed to interrogate the man who shot their sister or girlfriend, respectively; how Dexter can walk into a hospital without anyone blinking and then wheel a dead body out of the front doors and load it onto a boat).

I was willing to overlook the fact that we came to the end and everything not involving Dex, Deb (Jennifer Carpenter) and Hannah was effectively sidelined, proving all those mindless subplots this season have been a complete waste of time. Hell, I was even willing to overlook the fact that it appeared that the only way for Dexter to finally move on and leave Miami was to have to kill his sister (severing his only remaining familial tie besides his son).

And then that frakking ending…

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!

Did the Dexter writers honestly think that this ending would satisfy anyone, much less long time fans? Perhaps leaving Dexter isolated and alone, living the life of a lumberjack (???) would have been reasonable had the writers not spent the entire season reinforcing that Dexter is special. But no, we’ve been told for twelve straight episodes that he’s the one psychopath that can have the regular life because he’s capable of feeling. Sure you can flip it around that that’s the very reason he has to send Hannah and Harrison (and happiness) away – because he recognizes that being with them will only hurt them. But we all know that that’s just BS. Everytime Dexter and Deb play the blame game (as they’ve done so.many.times), it simply doesn’t ring true. They rain misery down on their loved ones because they seek out killers and cause the monsters to develop unhealthy fixations with them. If we’re truly meant to believe that leaving Miami would have included turning over a new leaf that doesn’t involve murdering people or living by the Code (as last week’s episode suggested), then it shouldn’t have been an issue for Dexter to live a normal life.

Instead he pawns his kid off on Hannah like a dead beat dad and re-enacts the opening of Man Of Steel. Happy effing finale, everyone!

Other Observations:

• Nice to see that Elway (Sean Patrick Flannery) was nothing more than a narrative pawn designed to delay Dexter from leaving. On the plus side, the writers finally remembered that Hannah is capable of looking after herself and could easily take care of Elway, though it a) would have been more satisfying if he had died and b) it’s so easily accomplished it makes you wonder why she didn’t pull the same stunt at the airport?
• At the end of the day one of the biggest mistakes of this final season has been the focus on the Brain Surgeon, aka Oliver Saxon (Darri Ingolfsson). The guy has proven less than engaging; he’s basically unmemorable in any way – much less so when you factor in previous baddies (fun game: rank them!). To think that this is the guy who ultimately kills Deb is pretty pathetic. I mean, seriously…Dex kills him with a pen
• I did like that we got some shout-outs to Dexter mainstays: his old apartment, the Slice of Life and the familiar green kill outfit all make final appearances
• RIP Deb. I’ll stop sh*tting on the finale here because everything good in it is courtesy of the relationship between the Morgans, even the “designed to pull at your heartstrings” flashback when Deb reassures Dex that he’ll be a good father to Harrison because he was a good older brother. In hindsight, it makes perfect sense that Dex’s final victim is Deb – they’ve been dancing around killing each other for the last two seasons. Obviously it would be a mercy killing since we all know that there’s no way Deb would have wanted to live in a brain-dead state. The scene when he carries her onto the Slice of Life and dumps her body overboard, watching it sink below the choppy, murky waves is the finale’s most poignant and well-executed scene. I just wish I could have turned my brain off (bodies don’t sink, they float and Dex would know that; would Dexter really be such an a*shole that he would dispose of Deb’s body without letting Quinn know what happened to her, or let him say goodbye? And then there’s the ridiculous moment Dexter “commits suicide” by driving into the eye of Hurricane Laura) So much ugh!

And so, Dexter is done…for now (don’t forget that Showtime still hopes to pull the trigger on a spin-off, whatever that means at this point). What are your thoughts on this final episode? Are you angry or sad? Will you look back fondly on S8? What are your favourite Dexter moments? And would you watch a spin-off? Comment away below

Dexter has now finished airing new episodes. You can also check out the producers’ comments (courtesy of Entertainment Weekly) here.